Good News?...

It's been all quiet on the blogging front this past month or so, and with good reason. I've got a job. Yes, i actually, after months of applying for jobs and getting nowhere, listening to agency waffle, and other poverty related indignities, i finally have a job. A fortnight ago i set myself a target to work really hard, to pull out all the stops, to get employment of some kind, either paid or even voluntary work, and strangely, i did!

I can't really say too much, that would give the game away, other than it's a short-term job in the motor trade, but i'm not complaining as the rates of pay are good and i get to work a shift where i don't get a feeling of jet-lag...(i'm not really a early morings or nights person), so i'm happy.

It would have been nice to have been a permanent job, but that's showbusiness i guess!

Anyway, as said, i'm not complaining. It would be nice to get a bit of money in the house, as i am literally on the bare bones of my arse.

Previous readers of this blog will have noticed that i probably play the poverty card a lot, but it was/is true at the time, but somehow, someway i managed to keep my head above water, well, at chin level at least...something always came out of the bag at the last minuite, (usually selling stuff) but the last couple of months have been extremely hard, this one being the hardest, one problem is that the job does not start right away, and there is another problem: the lease on my flat runs out in the end of October, i don't have any money really to go anywhere else at the minuite, which is a problem.

So i'm skint, have nothing to sell, owe various utility companies a stack of money, and i am homeless in five weeks time. Not a great start.

Maybe it's my own fault, maybe it's not-but it is a problem none the less. I've been ringing various estate agencies but even the most dire places need extortionate deposit and admin fees: would you pay £500 deposit to live in a elderly static caravan?

It's not the fact it's a caravan, and, besides: the rent was cheap enough a month, but there is no way i can afford that off my own back at the minuite, besides, renting bricks and mortar works out strangely cheaper than a caravan when you do the maths...

So that's to sort. One thing i won't miss about being unemployed is the aimless travel everywhere to agencies where jobs don't exist. In fact, i've become a lot tougher and resillient due to this, i hate being tough, but doing the rounds of bad agencies taught me that:

1.) It's a dog-eat-dog world out there
2.) I don't think i like the taste of it...You have to have a hard skin to deal with the BS.

Another thing, i don't think i discovered myself, but i did discover something about me, and that's the fact that i am a small-town boy, i really loathe going to big towns and cities and wandering round as a stranger, not just of the place you've gone to, to look for work, but want of a better phrase, "a stranger of the world..." because that's exactly how i felt, completely alone. I could be a good sixty miles from anyone i knew and 30 miles from my bedsit, in a town where i knew absolutely nobody.

Now, before you think i've lost it, all i'm saying is that i was used to small time rural Lincolnshire life, and after living in and visting some wildly different places in the last two years, and thinking i could take to a sort of sub-Alan Whicker county hopping jetsetting lifestyle, well, the honest truth is that the Lincolnshire is well and truly in this boy, and he thinks that's how he likes it, having tasted the alternatives...

We will just have to see what happens, watch this space...

Thank you!

There's not usually a lot of good to be said if you read this blog, if you look at the older postings, but, i do have some good news: no, unfortunately, not a job, but a huge weight off my shoulders!

I thought today was going to be total crap, it was a "interesting" signing on appointment at the Jobcentre today (did i fancy being a commis chef?!) and i thought it was going to be downhill from there...not so.

I am in arrears with a electric bill from the last place i lived in, it was a harsh winter, like the ones we used to get, in a electrically heated house: nuff' said perhaps, and although i don't owe much in theory, in reality it's a pain in the arse to make the ninety quid payments every month along with other debts etc.

I made a arranged token twenty pounds payment a fortnight ago, because i couldn't make the full payment, got a "where's our money?" letter from the electricity company today, so i rang about the oversight, and...

I was allowed to make as little or as much payment as i want as long as the debt was cleared by late January. Wahey!, i asked why couldn't i pay this way before and was stuck with huge mandatory payments a month, and the reply was:

"Some people are like machines and just look at the figures on a screen, it's lucky you're talking to a human being today..."

Amen, i say...Whoever you are, i didn't catch your name, but thank you very, very much! :-)

Don't call us...we'll call you...

I'm mobile this week now: I got the brakes fixed on my car yesterday, with help from my Dad after panicking about being unavilable for work at any opportunity. I needn't have bothered...

Human beings, by definition, are vain, stupid, etc, and i'm no exception. Although in my last blog i said that i would be moving back to South Lincolnshire, i foolishly though that there might be a chance for me to get work in Northamptonshire, my fiance said i'd be better off still moving back home, but somthing in me still believed naievely that i could get work.

I doubt it now, every job i've tried for, via a agency in Northants bar one (who are still "waiting to get me in" at the warehouse, three months after the registration/induction...) has been either: "It's been filled", "We're just registering right now, we'll call you back" (famous last words), or "we're after people a bit nearer...", or when they do answer, they always ask now how far away you are from the job, which is really annoying as you get the impression that they won't recruit anyone more than ten minuites walking distance from the job, even if you have a car. It really sounds as if they can't trust you to turn up to work.

A sort of contrast to one job i had in the "good old days" (for want of a better word) when i was working in South Lincolnshire in the late 90's, The company i worked for would take virtually anyone on, (possibly why i was there lol!)including Agency staff from Sheffield, and two groups of people would commute a total 150 mile a day journey, six days a week from Doncaster. Now that's dedication! (All i can say is thank god they were using a Proton to get there and back, many people mock these little tin boxes on wheels but if a old car can do this sort of journey a day, it's a good 'un...)

I don't advocate swearing in a blog post normally, but f**k it, absolutely f**k it, the agencies can keep their jobs, it might sound bitter and it possibly is, but i'm sick of trying and just ending up p***ing in the wind. It just hurts so much when you see something like: "40x Warehouse Operatives needed! registering now!" and you ring it and the f**king job has been filled or you get the vague, timid office junior on the phone who knows as much about recruitment as they do the names of pre-war American presidents, it just makes me so angry i just want to scream or puke, how can people play with other people's lives like this?, i've heard jokes/comments about how useless some recruitment agencies are: just scan You Tube for a video or two, but you don't believe it can happen to you. I'm sure all are not bad, as i have dealt with two, who to be fair, were very professional, but why is it the majority of agencies that are p**s poor when dealing with people?, grrrrrr...

Well, they can keep their jobs, that's all i can say without doing a Raspberry right now, i'm starting to apply for jobs "back home", it's a lot simpler...

Midnight train to Georgia

If there was ever a song to describe what i've decided to do, then the evergreen Gladys Knight (i think...) classic would be it.

I've decided to go home. If you've missed some of my earlier postings, to cut a long story short, i "emigrated" from South Lincolnshire nearly two years ago, in the hope of finding work that wasn't in a veg preperation factory, or minimum wage. I did fulfill that aim: I got a job in a engineering firm in Norfolk which was, well...let's not get into it, ahem...(cue embarrassed silence)

Anyway, from there, and since then i've tried to find the elusive "non veg" job, and to be honest, it hasn't materialised. I've moved four times, to three different counties and, i think due to the recession, the jobs just aren't there. Research shows that there are 173 people for every one job in nearby Peterborough (ok, i made that one up but i dare say that it's not far wrong, the job hunting folk of that city have my honest and humble sympathy.)

I've tried getting work in Northamptonshire as where i live now borders that county, but it's either thanks but no thanks, or "your name's still on file, we'll call you", or in the past week i haven't been able to look for anything because a fortnight ago i was floored by a bad cold virus which left me weak, and this week the brake cylinder on my car failed, costing around £75 now and it's still not fixed so i'm 15 miles away and stranded away from any work and with my cash supplies rapidly dwindling.

And that's another problem. I am now so skint and behind with bills that i have to consider Bankruptcy or a IVA.

Not great then. To be honest after a lot of thinking in the last month and much discussion with my fiance, i have decided to go back home to South Lincs as soon as i can afford to do so, it's a hard choice but one thing i have learnt, in fact the only thing i've learnt in my time of exile is that apart from most estate agents being shysters when it comes to property letting, that, although it's a cliche, home really is where your heart is. Nowhere i've ever really lived since leaving home has seemed like home, either the locals are (in the most case when i've dealt with them, so it's only a personal opinion) unfreindly or the property prices are insane.

So i might as well be poor at home where i know what's what, sounds a little small-time i know, but it's how i feel. I know i might not be able to get work at home but i will have to try when i move.

This is kind of closure on this blog, the end of a adventure, and it has been a adventure in many ways, i will keep blogging, but i can't promise it will be as interesting but i hope you will keep dropping in to see what happens, who knows?...

It's just all that...

I'm going to whinge. I apologise for this but i just wanted to put down how 13 months on the Dole has affected me.

I miss having a Job, i have to be honest and say that all the jobs i've ever had, bar one, and my paper-round when i was 15, were crap. Absolute crap.

But i miss so much not having a function, but what hurts the most is not being to hold my head high when with freinds and relatives (goodbye pride...), having to scrounge, and back out of buying a "luxury" costing more than three quid.

Dole, i think to be honest, is way short of survival money. Although i can just about survive, i really struggle with anything big: buying six months car tax last month was a killer.

And another thing that hurts, which perhaps makes me want to cry the most, is the condescending c***s on internet forums who say that you shouldn't be picky, you should volunteer every spare hour you have, there's work out there for those who want it, all unemployed are lazy Jeremy Kyle addicts who sit around in their pants all day, grow your own veg to save money, when all you want is a DECENT JOB, not a opportunity to land you in more shite by doing something you know deep down you'll be no good at, or another hobby, thanks.

Sometimes the strain feels like Geoff Capes trying to crush your skull with his bare hands, and that's no lie. I do wonder if unemployment is affecting my life and health a bit too much: i don't have a fridge (no money) so any food i have is either dried, tinned or brought hot and fried, so along with the strain of managing life on the dole, i guess this can't be doing my ticker much good.

The worry of who's going to get paid out of all the "where's our money?" letters from utility companies and the like, plus the crap food makes my intestines like a Hoover spin drier at times, leading to sleepless nights.

And i get angry these days, very short and sharp tempered which i worry about getting me in trouble eventually.

It was just something that troubles me, but i'm working on it:-)

I can see clearly now...

The rain has gone, well, not quite here as it's still p***ing it down...

I'm clearer of mind though. Last week was the pits for me for one thing or another and i genuinely thought "should i give up, should i be a professional claimer as this is what society thinks of me?"

Well, as you can guess from that, there was some rejections and desperate moments involving lack of money last week. I'm the sort of bloke who can put a positive spin on most things but last week took the biscuit to be honest. (Don't ask me about the quest for the electric top up, please...)

This week though, i'm a bit more positive, i don't know why and i will probably get that booted out of me by the jobcentre/training providers/agencies/potential employers/take your pick this week, but it's good to start the day on a positive note i guess.

Tomorrow?: Well, at 9.30 it's trivial sign on mystery time at the Jobcentre, as they pick over every last bone of what you've done to find work, even the trivial stuff like what papers you buy/read, after dinner it's a trip to the ever jolly agencies to find any work, (you've scraped together a fiver for diesel becuase your training provider wants to see evidence that you've looked for work so have to get a business card or headed notepaper) and then it's home, for Tesco Value super noodles for tea before i climb into my sleeping bag on the sofa because i can't afford a bed, ready to spend a full day at the training provider. Oh the joy. I feel like Victor Meldrew already...

The day after the night before...

Unemployment. It's a depressing thing to think about. Nobody wants you, work wise at least, and as those of you that are out there know, it can be a lonely, depressing episode. Writing about it can be tough, evaluating what you have and haven't done, and speculating why you are still out of work is, at times, a soul destroying business.

Hence the lack of updates so far over the last month. Apart from the bleak inward looking periods of recent times, i've also been busy with something else other than navel gazing and claiming dole.

Yes, i've been on some actual interviews: they were, to be honest, to my mind at least, were sucessful-i like to think that i gave it my very best on each interview, but i didn't get the girl, or the job in the end. One was for a warehouse job at a upmarket clothing catalougue in the UK's smallest county, and despite a grand tour of one of the most impressive buildings i've ever seen (their HQ) i just didn't get the job.

One other job had a "Britains got Talent" style contest. In the past, i was a Car Valeter. I'm not proud of a lot of things i've done in my life but i was a bloody good Car Valeter, so, locally a valeting job turned up-i've been on quite a few valeting interviews before, even trained chaps like me are ten a penny-that's why, if you look carefully in your Yellow Pages, there's so many one man Car Valeting bands, and to be honest, at the minuite, self-employment does not grab me.

So, the interview: Goes well, guy turns round and asks if i can clean a car, to show how i work, tomorrow, no can do says i, as i have another interview tomorrow and i don't want to be late for it (Car valeting is not a five minuite bucket and shammy leather job!) i explain this politely, and can we arrange another time?, ok says he, come back tomorrow and lets talk, so the next day, after the interview, i go down to the garage, try and arrange something with the secretary who informs me that they have potential valeters doing "trial" cars all week and the boss will get back to me if they have a suitable time date, and i'm still awaiting that call, nearly two weeks later.

Now, there's people out there of a Daily Mail bent who will say that i should have rung him back about fifty times to get a response and that nice Mr. Tebbit was right about getting on your bike and looking for work, eee i don't know, it's not like my Geoffery, 30 years in the civil service, there's work out there for those who want it etc, etc...but if he's got a person in each day to do cars, (the garage boss told me he was waiting until september to find the right person), then surely he's getting a lot of cars cleaned for free.

In retrospect, maybe i should have got off my arse and rung him fifty times, but c'est la vie i guess. We can only learn from our mistakes.

It's my last week of letternumberletter this week too. Those who have been on one of these courses will know very deeply how relieved i am to be finishing this. Nuff' said.