Too much pressure

Way too much. I've always been the sort of bloke to be able to sort out my own affairs but now it really is getting too much. I'm being sent "where's our money?" letters on a semi-regular basis, the letting agent on the property i'm about to move from being a very sharp thorn in my side, with three letters so far. Having moved in to our new "home" me and my Fiance are arguing almost constantly, not directly, but in a way caused by severe lack of money and probably being stuck in a tiny space together.

And the loose ends that need tidying up, there seems to be no fucking end to it all. Address changes, joint benefit updates, the heating in our new home packing up, having to apply for more permanant work, the temp job not starting yet, etc, etc

But trying to sort it all out is a complete and utter fucking nightmare, even the simple bits and it's making me ill and in turn making me irritable and difficult, and more difficult for my fiance to be with me.

How she's put up with me so far is nothing short of a miracle. I make no bones about it: i have been a difficult bastard over the past few weeks with the stress of it all, and if she's reading this, i apologise.

I can put up with the heating not working, that's a minor problem compared to someone coming to pick up some surplus furniture from my old flat. I only wanted a fiver or tenner for it, if that, but i keep getting "ooh, it's not for me-i can't shift furniture, the colour's wrong etc, etc" from local second hand shops, i mean, for fuck's sake?, is it so hard?, i'm virtually giving you furniture that's not tat and you won't even take it?, fucking hell, is this what it's come to?

They keep giving me numbers for Sue Ryder etc, i don't completely mind giving furniture away to charity, i've done it before, but charity furniture collectors have a habit of not turning up (from my experience) and i'm below the breadline, and it galls a bit seeing stuff you paid for being given away and you don't even get the price of a bag of chips for it.

Sorry to gripe-it just keeps me sane...

Countdown to work Part 1...

It's been a eventful past few days after i posted my last message, in fact the day after i posted my last message, my car died, literally-the cambelt snapped whilst driving to meet relatives, destroying the engine and i'm about £150 down financially due to that and it was a real panic time: i had no money to buy another car, none of my family had any spare cash to get another old banger to runaround in and i only had £50 to my name and £30 of that was the money i got from the scrapman for the car.

Thankfully a old mate came to the rescue with a £250 loan, and Neil, if you're reading, thanks again from the bottom of my heart and i am now mobile with another banger which will hopefully last a bit longer than the last one...

Finally got another place to live now, a mobile home. I was a bit weary of this at first, but i've decided not to be so stupid and snobby and just accept it, hopefully i might just even like it!

It was a cheap place to rent, and as a happy ending, me and my fiance are able to live together for the first time in six months. Not so nice is the letter i got from my current letting agent, similar to the one my Mum got in the last posting, but with more of a threatening court action slant...i wish they'd understand that if i could get the money to them any sooner, i would but had to pay for the new place to go to and did try a compromise with the letting agent as you will see on the previous post, and as said there: ho-hum...

Still waiting for the green light to start work, i got a phone call this week stating that it's been put back a bit, and i only hope i'm not being taken for a ride and in all honesty i'm taking advice from relatives about not putting all my eggs in one basket, and i'm going to apply for whatever suitable work i can find in the surrounding area of where my new digs are, but as said, i hope i'm not being taken for a ride, it would devastate me, especially as i trusted them so much.

On a negative work note, my fiance's uncle and cousin both worked for the same major player construction firm, the Uncle for over ten years and both were given their notices this week. I myself thought the building trade was going through some pickup in trade, and i hope they can both find alternative employment. Best of luck lads.

Just also noticed that if it drags on much longer, and i start work next month, it will be a month to the year since i first started this blog, crikey...

Under pressure...

Today, my mum got a heavy letter from my letting agent on the current place i live in, after the rest of the rent i owe, a measly £190. I rang the letting agent midweek to let them know that as soon as i get the money, i'll give it to them, and if not, take it from my deposit at the end of the month when i move out.

So why the letter?, pardon my French but fuck knows. It's just another poxy "where's our money" letter from somebody else, other than those i'm already getting letters from, ho-hum.

I'm just getting bored of it all now. Really bored...

Baby it's cold outside...

It's bloody cold out there. And in here too, in my bedsit as the battered storage heater doesn't seem to work. It's 6am on Tuesday 6th October, i'm wearing a fleece as i type this and this is Shiftswinging!

If i ramble a bit too much i'm also suffering with a cold, and i'm having trouble thinking straight lol!

Actually, it's illness i want to talk about. Since being unemployed last year, i seem to catch every illness bug going, including a very bad cold virus when swine flu was about last time, although i don't think mine was swine flu, but there was a lot of cold and "suspected swine flu" going about at letternumberletter when i caught whatever it was, because i think that's where i got it from, no allegations though!

Illness makes me very anxious and worried, and to be honest i could do without it at the moment with all the other problems that i have at the minuite, and i'm praying that i don't catch the next wave of swine flu that there is supposedly about at the minuite, although i do have the Tamiflu if that happens...

My main worry is what happens if i'm ill when i'm meant to start work?, it's only a temporary job and i'm very worried that if i'm ill they will find someone else and i will be up shit creek without a paddle as everything rests on this job: Getting somewhere to live, clearing debts, getting a new car and paying for Christmas.

It is a bit of a worry, to be frank. Another worry is that i still haven't found anywhere to live. I could go and live with my parents if pushed, but even then i still don't have anywhere to store all my things-i don't have a lot of them, having got rid of quite a few items during consecutive house moves, (and this one is no exception), as storage costs and i have no money...

I've rang around for a few places and you need about a grand up front. In retrospect maybe i shouldn't have handed in the lease on this place, but i couldn't stand it here anymore, i never liked it here to be honest, but that's another story covered in a previous chapter.

Still not started the job yet, this starts in November, preparing ex-lease cars for resale (cleaning, polishing, general valeting etc)

I'm off to bed (well, sofa at least...) to try and get warm...