Full Circle

Next month, on the 17th, i will have been out of work for exactly one year, and what a year it was too! I threw in the towel in a job where the more i learnt the more it pushed out the old stuff (to quote Homer Simpson...), and the chance to work with people you really wouldn't want to be anywhere near given half the chance. Cashed in the equity off my house and indulged on a mega bucks spending spree, moved to three different houses, in two different areas, but just couldn't get settled at all, brought and sold cars, and kept the local takeaways in business, but still, i have to say, the money didn't make me happy, and trust me, it was a stack of cash, but don't worry about blackmailing or mugging me: It's all gone. I have around three quid in my pocket at the moment and i was happy with that as i usually only have a pound plus coppers for parking, not that i pay for it much anymore, running the gauntlet i know, but it's parking or dinner. Dinner wins every time...

It's now May. I've moved for the fourth time in a year into a bedsit that would make a 60's town planner's heart cry for joy, but it's home for now. I hate it, but it's home, although i plan to spend as little time here as possible.

The new area i've moved to is rather well to do, and don't have the usual Jobcentre clientele, the last two times i've been, i was sat next to a (former) Journalist, and the other day someone who sounded like they had been a big noise in banking once, this also means for some reason that they don't have the usual "No job mate?, yeah, i know it's tough, just sign here and we'll see you agin in a fortnight, ta ta!" attitude, which although over-simplifying it, means that at least they know there is no jobs about at the moment.

No, these kindly folks are of the "Why are you on the dole?" school, made popular in the 80's TV Drama "Boys from the Blackstuff", they really don't take any crap. They've been condescending, vague, and forgot i was there for 20 minuites for one apointment, a phone call from them is like a bomb hoax, their phone manner is that bad.

I missed signing on the other day, my car broke down, and i was stranded 30 miles away at my fiance's house, i phoned the Jobcentre up, told them i couldn't make it and was politely informed that if i did not turn up it would involve filling out a form, to have a decision made on whether or not i should have my dole paid to me as "it's not a genuine reason" for missing signing on.

I informed them that expecting me to walk 30 miles was out of the question, but yesterday, i had to fill out all the "why weren't you here?" paperwork, and i'm now awaiting a decision to see if someone is petty enough to turn my dole down.

Dole this week is the last of my Contribution (NI Based) JSA, and although i have filled the paparwork out to get income based JSA, and a small loan to buy second hand furniture, i was informed yesterday that it still hadn't been sorted, i only filled the forms out last week, but when you live hand to mouth, if you wait for money, a day's gap is like a year.

Still, it's not all shit. Although i've had to leave my fiance 30 miles away to live with her parents, which broke my heart when i drove away from her, she was crying and i (perhaps rightly) felt like such a c**t. This really is all my fault. Shit.

It's a sobering thought. X-Amount of thousand pounds to nothing in a year, i really am a c**t.

The clincher here though is that i (sort of) have been offered work to start in June. Shit work, long hours, pocket money pay, but work. I'm hoping now to save up to put down a deposit on a small house nearer my fiance, i hope for my sake that it all works out, i couldn't stand this bedsit more than six months and that's pushing it. It's like one of those flats they give to the millionaire to see how the other half lives in C4's "The Secret Millionaire"...

I'm not looking forward to the job, in fact, i'm trying desperately to find out what else is about work wise so i don't have to take it.

Another plus point is that now i have been put on a free course to help my jobseeking skills, with free stamps and internet. Kerching, as they say...