Don't Panic! we know what exactly is going on...

A wise old former soldier i once worked with once told me that "back in the day" when he was in the Army, you never volunteered for anything, ever, unless you were completely kamikaze.

I sometimes wonder if "Civvy Street" life is like that also. I, about a month ago volunteered to go onto a job hunting training course provided by a organisation with a number-letter-number configuration in the title.

I'm now wondering whether this is a mistake. I have learnt, via the magic of the internet that people usually get forced onto these courses, and in Sheffield, it is regarded as something of a punishment apparently.

My own course, is highly reminiscent of the things i hated at school. Although i left school donkey's years ago, i still remember and shudder at some of the poor attitude of the teachers, who , apart from a couple of cases, seemed to either be incompetent or megalomaniacal, or tyrants, or all three cases.

Some of the staff at the training course are reminiscent of my teachers, last week i was told that basically i have a negative attitude (no, i have a realistic attitude, which is different), a defensive attitude, and was somehow responsible for the 1973 Miners strike, despite it being six years before i was born...

I said that i fancied working in admin but was at a loss, despite IT qualifications, because i have no experience, and at nearly 30, perhaps a bit too old for a apprenticeship.

Apparently, i was the only one holding me back. Not the poor GCSE's that i have, not the fact i lived for years in a area where there were not many Office roles available, and you had to take what you could get, so i ended up in a factory.

No, it's me and my negative attitude. And apparently i have "issues" too.

To be honest, i get a bit sick of this "Your life is in your hands" crap. Ok, your life is in your hands but there are often outside factors controlling it, like lack of money, putting a roof over your head etc, so i try and make the most of what i've got, unfortunately i don't get very far but that's another story.

I wanted to use my time the other day trawling the local agencies, rather than the Northampton agencies i went to a fortnight (see previous post), and when informing a course leader about this, i got looked at as if i was something he'd stepped in:

"You did this a week ago, didn't you?", i informed him it was a fortnight ago in Northampton.

I was allowed to go in the end. Sometimes i just wonder if it's me or other people who are stupid, hold on, perhaps i'd best not ask...